


Blurred Lines

by ultraman64



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Chuck never knew his father, Herc didn't know he was a daddy, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Not Beta Read, Parent/Child Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 07:36:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultraman64/pseuds/ultraman64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commander Hansen is the kind of man that Chuck wants to be, cool and confident, with such an air of authority that it makes everyone bow to him. Not only that but he's an ace, having been one of the first men in their PPDC division to be a Jaeger pilot and come back time and again. The older man had only recently become an instructor, training the next set of Jaeger pilots and its a position that Chuck desperately want to be in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blurred Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song with the same name, though bears no bearing on this fic. Chuck's mother's last name is Barton, just to clear up any confusion.
> 
> [Prompt](http://pacificrimkink.livejournal.com/350.html?thread=184926#t184926) the Pacific Rim kinkmeme.

  
His mother dies during a Kaiju attack and while it's not something that is entirely new for most of the people living nowadays, Chuck still feels completely alone. He's 17 and there's no one he can turn to, since his grandparents aren't alive and he has no clue who is father is.   
  
He ends up staying in an orphanage until the following year when he signs up for Pan Pacific Defense Corps. It's not glamorous and is pretty much hell but it's not like he has anything better to do and it's better than waiting to be Kaiju dinner.  
  
So he trains and works hard, focusing on getting better and stronger, and ignores all outside distractions. It makes for a pretty lonely existence, most of his fellow officers believing Chuck thinks himself better than them.   
  
He's been lonely before, so it doesn't really bother him being lonely again.  
  
Chuck instead focusing on the Jaeger program, instead of some other menial job that his instructors push him towards. His test scores say he'd be a good mechanic or fighter pilot but those aren't what he wants. The thought of climbing inside a huge machine and punching the living hell out of a Kaiju is what keeps him late in the gym, in the simulator.  
  
Makes him want to be better.  
  
The dark blond thanks this single-mindedness because it leads him to Hercules Hansen, a legendary Jaeger instructor and former driver for the mecha.   
  
Commander Hansen is the kind of man that Chuck wants to be, cool and confident, with such an air of authority that it makes everyone bow to him. Not only that but he's an ace, having been one of the first men in their PPDC division to be a Jaeger pilot and come back time and again. The older man had only recently become an instructor, training the next set of Jaeger pilots and its a position that Chuck desperately want to be in.  
  
Of course he can only see the man from afar, since none of his current instructors think he could start a Jaeger program yet, his human connections remarkably low and tell him he can try again next time.  
  
It's because of this that the young man puts the Jaeger program out of his mind for now, figuring that he'll prove his instructors wrong when Chuck aces their simulator training tests and prove he's drift compatible. And while Chuck isn't suppose to be in the simulator after hours, should probably be in the barracks asleep, he ignores the warnings and trains.   
  
Besides, bad dreams keep him up and the dark blond haired man has always felt better after he's been in a simulator battle.  
  
Climbing out of the training machine, Chuck pulls the test helmet off and sees Herc just sitting there, cock-sure smirk on his face. The young man forces himself to pause, because he's sure he'll go stumbling down the exit ladder and end up in a heap if he moves.  
  
"You know that's off limits during non-training hours." The older man states, a quick gesture towards the sim.  
  
Chuck squares his shoulders and climbs down, initial shock worn away. "Is it? I didn't know."  
  
"I find that hard to believe," Herc stands, crosses his arms in such a defiant manner. "Seeing as you've been here long enough to know better cadet Barton."  
  
Placing his helmet down, the dark blond tries his hardest not to give any outwards indication that what Hansen says is true. But as he feels his lips tighten into a line, Chuck can feel the knowing grin on Herc's face.  
  
"Sir," the younger starts, turning in place to regard the other man. "I was merely trying to get extra training in and have been allow individual one-on-one time without the help of instructors in the past! Using the damn machine after hours shouldn't be grounds for dismissal and if you want to write me up, then go ahead because I sure as hell ain't sayin' I'm sorry."  
  
The last words are more a growl instead of actual words, and some small part of his brain is telling him to shut up and grovel already but there's no way Chuck's doing that. He dares the older man to say something, glaring openly at his commanding officer, and Herc laughs.  
  
A small chuckle at first before it turns into full blown laughter.  
  
Chuck is so caught off guard by it that he can only hike his shoulders, an embarrassing blush creeping up his neck, as he waits for the older man's laughter to die down. Herc grins at him, walks up to drop a heavy hand onto the younger man's shoulder.  
  
"Actually, I've notice you've been doing extra training and that's why I've recommended you for the Jaeger program." He smirks, patting the dark blond' shoulder one last time and pulls his hand away. "I think you have what it takes for it, and training is certainly the key to making that possible."  
  
"Wha- Are you serious?!" Chuck blurts out and at Herc's answering nod, throws his arms around the other man's neck. He pulls back just as suddenly with a blush, swallowing loudly before grinning at the commander. "Sorry sir, momentary slip of excitement, sir."  
  
"It's fine," The older man waves it off, chuckling slightly as he moves away. "Just wrap things up here, we convene at 0530 and I expect you to be bright and early cadet."  
  
"Yes, sir. 'Course, sir." Chuck can't fight the grin on his face, saluting Herc's retreating back and can hardly wait for tomorrow.  
  
~  
  
Herc can admit that the kid has far exceeds his expectations. In the few weeks since moving Chuck Barton into the Jaeger program, he's proved himself efficient, effective and quick-minded. Perhaps he's taken more of a shine to the younger man than most of the other cadets but Herc doesn't care.   
  
Every time he catches the dark blond watching him, Herc can only see admiration in his eyes and it does things to the older man's ego... as well other parts of him.  
  
He can't deny that Chuck is anything but easy on the eyes, 'cause the kid is just that. Handsome and growing constantly, putting on muscle and weight as he continues training for Jaeger pilot duty. Herc pushes this away because, regardless of any physical attraction he may have to Chuck, the kid is his subordinate and there's no way that he's going to allow himself to be caught up in some fling with said subordinate.   
  
But sometimes he likes to think, fantasize really, that maybe between sims, between the training, that he could sneak off with the kid and...  
  
Raised voices cut into his thoughts and he glances up from his clipboard towards the source. There are a few recruits gathered around, having just come in to start their next training session and haven't taken notice of him.  
  
Chuck stands a few feet away from the group, arms crossed and glaring at the other cadets.  
  
"Face it, Barton," another man states (Hicks, if Herc remembers correctly). "The only reason you're here is because the commander felt sorry for you. There's no way you'll ever be drift compatible by being such a wanker."  
  
The darker blond haired man laughs sharply, shaking his head before staring down Hicks. "You're a right bloody idiot, ya know." His smile is almost a sneer and he takes 3 steps forward to be in the other man's personal space. "If you think that's the only reason, then you haven't been paying enough attention during physical training. Because I can drop you faster than you'll realize and have fun doin' it."  
  
Herc stands then, because he has to intervene since this can turn really terrible really fast and barks for attention to stand at attention.  
  
Hicks and Chuck stand side by side, but where there's a coiled tension in Hicks, there's a cool bravado in Chuck. Instructing the cadets to their designated pods, the older man gestures for Chuck to stay put, waiting for the other men and women to disperse before approaching the younger man.  
  
"Cadet Barton," he starts, watching Chuck frown. "I'd like to remind you that getting caught in a fight can lead to reprimands or even a dismissal and I'm sure your fellow cadets would just be lining up in defense of you."  
  
The young man fidgets, looking not in the least bit sorry and glaring off towards the sims. "With all due respect, Cadet Hicks is a fucking douche nozzle and I would have happily gotten a reprimand to knock his ass out... Sir."  
  
"Even so," Herc bites back a grin and nods his head slightly. "Just remember, that it's your dream you could be throwing away and nothing else."  
  
That sobers Chuck up and the older man can tell he's fighting to cross his arms. Taking pity on the dark blond, Herc gestures towards an empty sim pod and makes his way over, with Chuck tagging along.  
  
"I know that, but these idiots just think I'm pompous or something." The young man does cross his arms once they're alone, watching as Herc begins the setup for the pod. "So what if I don't want to clown around or make jokes all night? We're here to train and learn, not make friends."  
  
As the machine hums to life, the older man turns and notices the agitation rolling off of the young man. He has an need to reach out and stroke Chuck's cheek, to provide comfort in touching but instead focuses on his own hands.  
  
"Drifting is a large part of controlling a Jaeger. One of the key components is connecting with your fellow operator. That's why often teams are recruited into the Jaeger program. Siblings, friends, lovers, these type of teams of optimal for piloting the suit."   
  
Chuck slouches, leaning on the sim's entrance/exit ladder for a moment.   
  
"But this can be corrected by making friendships during training." Herc smiles, glancing down at the console as he continues before moving closer to the other man. "You can still find a partner, you just have to be more open with your fellow cadets."  
  
"I want the best partner and I haven't met him." The younger man snorts, shoving away from the ladder to turn and start the climb into the machine. He pauses before entering the pod, unhooking the helmet from outside the sim and looking back at the commander.  
  
"Or, he's teaching at the academy and can't be my partner yet." Chuck mutters before yanking on the helmet and slipping into the simulator.  
  
Herc stares up for a moment before licking his lips and glancing away. He's sure that the boy meant for them to be friends or mentor and student, anything more was just wishful thinking on his part. There was no way the kid could have meant more than that, he was just looking for someone that could connect with him, on a drift level.  
  
But the older man lets himself believe for just a moment that it does mean more, that Chuck isn't just looking at him like he wants a teacher but wants him for something else...  
  
Licking his lips one more time, Herc walked back to the console, ignoring the slow burn in his belly.  
  
~  
  
Between training the new recruits and helping Chuck, there's little time in between for Herc to do much else other than eat and sleep. He tries though and often ends up neglecting one or both, to his detriment.  
  
But watching Chuck become a Jaeger pilot, that is more than worth ignoring basic needs. The man shines when he steps into the simulator pod, when he throws his fellow recruits around during physical training and the older man feels privileged to witness it.  
  
Of course it proves beyond a doubt that he's showing favoritism, but still.  
  
Late one night, Herc is in the middle of reviewing training stats when he hears noises from the training sims. Knowing instinctively about who he's about to find, a grin spreads across his face and he leaves the room.  
  
Sure enough, Chuck is standing in front of a sim, helmet under his arm and keying up command codes at the console.  
  
"Trouble sleeping again?" He starts, smiles when Chuck doesn't jump because maybe the young man is getting used to his presences.  
  
"Just figured if I'm up, I might as well train." The dark blond grumbled, glancing back up briefly.  
  
Walking the rest of the way, Herc stopped short of entering into the other man's personal space and placed a hand on top of the console. "You'd do better getting something to eat."  
  
Chuck glanced up, frowning slightly. "Just because you don't..."  
  
"A growing boy like you," the older man smiled, slipping the helmet away from the blond. "I'm sure you'd do well to eat more."  
  
Placing the helmet back down, he quickly powered down the sim. "At the very least, you could keep your commander company while he eats."  
  
He turned and moved away, resisting the urge to look back and ensure Chuck was following. He liked spending time with the younger man, finding him interesting in a way that was both professional and unprofessional. Chuck had a passion about piloting a Jaeger, but he was still bright and innocent. It could mean trouble for the both of them, the way he gravitated towards the younger man but he couldn't care less.   
  
The older man tried not to grin when the footsteps follow behind him and Herc makes his way effortlessly towards the cafeteria. Pleasantly surprised that there are only a few crew members still hanging around, he finally glances back.  
  
"I'll grab us something," he states, pointing the younger man at an empty table. "Go sit."  
  
The blond gives a barely-there nod and moves in that direction. Herc smiles lightly, suppressing the pleasure that bubbles up at the boy's obedience and turns to the food-line. He picks mostly fruits and vegetables, supposing neither want something heavily to snack on and quickly makes his way back.  
  
Chuck is staring sulkily down at the table, glancing up only briefly. "I don't see a problem with wanting more training."  
  
"It's not the training that's the problem," Herc places the tray between them, settling across from the younger man. "You need sleep as much as training. Ignoring problems could cause worse things in the long run."  
  
"I'm not ignoring them," the younger man pouts, snatching up some apple pieces. "There's just nothing to do about them until I can get into a Jaeger."  
  
The comment causes Herc to pause, and he considers the young man for a long moment. "You can't use this program as revenge," the man state simply. Licking at his lips quickly, Herc leaned forward to talk in a hush. "If I'm in any way inclined to think you might want revenge, I can kick you from the program."  
  
The statement snaps the blond's head up, wide-eyed, even as he blurts out: "You can't!"  
  
Making a 'tsking' noise, the older man dropped his head forward to stare at the table and rub at the back of his neck. He waited a moment, listening to the rushed breathing of the younger man and finally looked back up. "Then talk to me, because I'm not putting you at risk... or anyone else."   
  
He adds the last part only just barely, and forces himself not to blush.  
  
The blond frowns, biting his bottom lip and shakes his head. "I don't want revenge, I don't." He looks down at the fruit pieces and sighs angrily. "I mean, I should and I have dreams about what those bastards have done to me but I really don't want revenge."  
  
"Then what? What is the problem?"  
  
"I-I..." The younger man glares at the fruit before dropping it on the table and turns a fierce look up at Herc. "Because I have to believe that everything that's happened to me was so I'd get here, so I could become a Jaeger pilot and if I fail-"  
  
Chuck let out a shuddery breath and clenched his fists.  
  
Instinct had Herc reaching across the table, grabbing onto one of the boy's clenching fists. He wanted to reassure the younger man, that there was no way he wouldn't succeed, that Chuck would become the pilot he wanted but Herc couldn't. There were too many possible outcomes, too many things that could go wrong and giving empty promises had never sat well with the older man.  
  
"I'll help you," he mumbles, pulling the curled fist loose to grip the hand. "I'll make sure you become a pilot."  
  
The kid sucked in a deep breath, starting up at the man for a moment and gave a weak smile. The hand held loose by Herc twisted slightly, lacing their fingers together.   
  
They sat that way for sometime.  
  
~  
  
Each time Chuck has drift partner trials, he always puts everyone on the mat. It shouldn't please him so much, because if he doesn't find a partner soon he'll be bypassed to the next team, but it does.   
  
Everyone knows he's the best.  
  
He can fight, can handle battle simulations well and knows the ins and outs of the Jaeger tech, that it's almost embarrassing to other crew members. That's the only reason that Chuck hasn't been passed over, even though he's gone through 3 drift partner trials now. Because the higher ups need him to find a partner already.  
  
He says as much when he plops down on Herc's cot.  
  
"It's that kind of attitude that keeps any potential partners away," the older man points out, holding out a beer towards Chuck. Of course, this is also the one of the benefits that pleases the dark blond, being allowed to spend so much time with Herc Hansen.  
  
"What's keeping my partners away is that all these guys suck," the younger man shoots back and takes the beer more aggressively then he needs too. "I need someone that has already been out there."  
  
"And I've already told you, I'm not climb back into a Jaeger just yet." The commander replies coolly, sitting in a chair across from the bed.  
  
"Yeah, that's what you keep saying," Chuck smirks, taking a swig of beer. "But you're the one I want, sir."  
  
An odd look passes over Herc's face, like he's embarrassed but that could hardly be the case. The dark blond shifts on the bed, laying back so he can balanced the beer on his stomach. The bottle keeps stills as he pulls his hand away, proud over the control of his breathing and the smoothness of his abs.   
  
"Anyway, if I can't have you, what's the point? If we need to kick Jaeger ass, I can only do that with you-"  
  
"Stop that!" The words are barked out, startling Chuck. His beer topples over and soaking both himself and the bed and he looks over in surprise. Herc is on his feet, red-faced and glaring at him. The dark blond hadn't even realized that he had been upsetting the older man, but looking back on his words, it's not completely unexpected.  
  
"S-sorry sir, I-I'll clean up..." Chuck scrambles from his laid out position, feeling his shirt stick to his chest, and starts pulling the bedding off the cot. "Lemme replace these, I've got clean ones in my quarters and...and-"  
  
"Dammit, kid, that's not what I-" The older man grunts, his face still red and he drags his hand over his head. Carefully, Herc places his bottle down, moving closer to the stunned blond man but merely grabs the bedding from him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. But you just, what you do to me..."  
  
Chuck blinks, since he has no idea what that even means. The younger man has always thought that their easy friendship was a two-way street, that they both enjoyed being together, in the other's company. If Commander Hansen had been displeased with him, or worse, didn't want him around...   
  
The dark blond didn't think he could go back to being alone again.  
  
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." Not sure what he's apologizing for but doing it any way, Chuck barely recognizes his own voice, some half gasp-sob lodged in his throat distorting it. Blindly he reaches out, grabbing a hold of the older man's jacket, and dropping his head onto the front Herc's right shoulder. "Please, please don't send me away."  
  
Chuck can hear the older man suck in a breath, and for a few painful seconds, neither of them move. Then Herc's arms are wrapping around him and squeezing tight.  
  
"I'm not, I'm not going to send you away. I wouldn't do that to you, you've worked so hard and you're so close to being a pilot..." The older man sighs, dragging one hand up and down Chuck's back soothingly.  
  
"I don't understand then," the dark blond admits, pulling back to look at his commander. "Why did you say-? You told me to stop..."  
  
Herc chuckles, brings both hands up to cup the younger man's face. "You really don't get it, do you?"  
  
The older man presses a chaste kiss against Chuck's closed mouth, and the dark blond sort of lets out a gasp because of it. He feels the tip of a tongue trace his bottom lip before slipping gently inside.   
  
Chuck grips the jacket still clutched in his hand, arm now trapped between himself and Herc as his other hand comes up to grab at Herc's shoulder. He has no clue what to do, because, frankly (embarrassingly) he's never been in this situation before. His own tongue tentatively pushes against the one invading his mouth and Herc lets out this deep groaning noise, one arm leaving Chuck's face to pull the younger man closer.  
  
Mimicking the commander, Chuck felt his own confident raise and he pressed harder against the body before him. Herc broke the kiss suddenly, huffing a quiet laugh and pulled back. The younger man frowned, following along when the older man stopped him.  
  
"Wha- what is it?" The dark blond said, slightly out of breath, his heart pounding away. He realizes with a start that all he wants is to continue, to be touching, pressing against the other man once more.  
  
"Your shirt is soaked." Herc smiles, glancing down at their now wet shirts, thanks to Chuck's close proximity.   
  
"Oh," Chuck frowns and pulls at his shirt only to be stopped again.  
  
"Kid, hey, stop." The older man laughs, grabbed him and pulling him into a loose embrace. "I know this is all new to you, but you can't just start getting naked in front of me."  
  
"New to me...?" The blond repeated then suddenly realizes that his inexperience is probably plastered across his face, and blushes darkly. Shifting back but not breaking from the embrace, he glowers at the older man. "I know what getting naked means, I'm not a child old man."  
  
"I mean, I wouldn't be able to control myself with you half-naked." Herc smirked, leaning forward to press a quick kiss against Chuck's temple. "You're always showing off your body, always flaunting it, and you're killing me. This _old man_ can only take so much."  
  
While the blush persists, the younger man felt his lips quirk up. "So, you're saying I'm too much for you?"  
  
Herc rolled his eyes at that, leaning to press another kiss against the blond's lips. "I'm saying - **kid** \- that you need to make sure of what you want. This will change everything, not even counting the fact I'm your superior officer."  
  
"I've always told you what I wanted," Chuck grinned, throwing his arms around Herc's neck and purposely pressing his wet shirt against the other man. "You, it's always been you."  
  
The older man huffed, cheeks coloring slightly and shook his head. "I'm not talking about drift partners."  
  
"Neither was I," the blond started, pressed a kiss against Herc's chin. "I've always _wanted_ you, I just didn't realize this way until right now."  
  
He kissed the older man then, gentle and inexperienced but determined. Chuck pulled against the man, happy when Herc went along and toppled them both back onto the bare cot. They were always telling him to make connections anyway, to find someone that would understand him in a way that so few others would.  
  
Chuck only wanted the best after all, and in his opinion, he got it.  
  
~  
  
Herc's relieved when, after 7 months of training, the cadets are given shore leave. It's only been a few months since his relationship with Chuck changed and he's been itching to go somewhere where he can hold the younger man without fear of someone seeing them.  
  
Unable to stop his stupid grin, Herc finishes the last of his paperwork and waves off the last of the straggler cadets that bid him farewell.   
  
"Hey, old man!" The older man pursued his lips, looking up at Chuck as the young man stepped into the small room that doubles as his office, a flat-looking duffel bag over one shoulder. "You ready for some shore leave?"  
  
"Yes, _Cadet_ Barton, I am." Very pointedly pronouncing the rank, Herc stood up and placed his papers in the proper stacks. Grabbing up his own bag from behind his desk, he moved passed the blond to make their way out. "I hope you've got everything you need."  
  
"This bag has my toothbrush, so I've got everything!" Chuck grinned cheekily at him.  
  
"As much as I appreciate the thought of you not packing any clothes," Herc tried to suppress his own grin but, considering the cocky grin the blond shot at him, he knows he failed. "You're going to need actual clothes."  
  
"Gonna take me out and paint the town then?"   
  
"Something like that," Herc finally allows himself to fully grin, imagining dressing up Chuck and taking them into a nice restaurant, showing him off. They easily locate a civilian jeep, dropping their bags into the back and climb in. Herc could tell there was a nervous energy bubbling under Chuck's skin by the way he was practically bouncing in his seat, and smiled warmly.   
  
Ever since their relationship took a more personal and intimate turn, Chuck was practically glowing. Even if the other recruits still couldn't be classified as friends, the young man was making headway with them and there was now an easy atmosphere in the group. Even Hicks, the man that at one time wanted to beat Chuck down, was warming up to the young man.   
  
There was a stirring of jealous somewhere deep in his stomach at the thought but Herc managed to ignore it, knowing that the young man had settled on him and the thought warmed him completely.  
  
They drove to a distant hotel, somewhere a few hours away from base so there would be no one they knew around, and checked in. When Herc turned away from the receptionist, Chuck was waiting by the elevators, shifting back and forth on his feet and grinning broadly.   
  
"You seem happy," Herc commented as they entered the elevator.  
  
"Why shouldn't I be?" The younger man grinned pressing against older man's side. "We're alone for the next 3 days, and there's the possibility that we don't have to leave the room at all!"  
  
Herc laughed quietly, wrapping one arm around the blond's waist and kissed him deeply, never tiring of the younger man's lips. As much as those thoughts enticed him, Herc wanted to pace himself with his young lover, considering that they had time and there was plenty to do. So when the elevator dinged to a stop, the older man nipped at Chuck's lips and pulled away.   
  
"Come on, let's get to the room before we do something stupid." With a gentle tug, Herc laced their fingers together and lead the way. He smiled when he let go of the young man's hand at the door and Chuck pressed against his back, wrapping both arms around his middle as he clicked the lock open.  
  
They stumbled in, laughing and pulling at each other, dropping their bags and clothes on their was to the bed. It was as free as Herc had felt in a long time. Away from responsibilities and duties, away from the fear of dying or leading the next group of young men and women to their doom. He could be normal here, like before the Kaiju attacked and the world went to shit.   
  
He could simply bask in the joy of being with a young lover and spending a day in.  
  
It's both a lovely and bittersweet thought because this can only last for so long, until they have to return to the real world. Herc rolls them until he's hovering over Chuck, gazing down at the dark blond with such affection it nearly chokes him.  
  
"Hey," he murmurs, bringing a hand to cup the younger man's face.   
  
"Hey," Chuck smiles in return, his own hands resting on the older man's hips. "I think I love you..."  
  
There's a moment of stillness before Herc leans down and kisses the blond as deeply as he can. He hopes it can convey all the things that the young man has invoked in him, passion and love and joy. His hand moves gently, seemingly stroking the cheek he's still cupping before sliding down to grasp slightly at the side of Chuck's neck.  
  
He presses his forehead against the younger man's, laughing quietly. "God, I love you too."  
  
At the younger man's neck, his hand slides against rough metal and he glances down to the dog tags settled on Chuck's chest. Herc sits back, kneeling over the younger man and pulls his own tags over his head, only slightly amused that they both wore them to bed.   
  
Without asking, Herc pulls the blond's dog tags away and pulls them over his own head before repeating the motion to Chuck with the older man's tags.  
  
"What is this?" Chuck laughs as he pulls gently at the new set of tags around his neck.   
  
"Well, it's not like we can get rings or something," the older man smirks, leans back down over Chuck. "So I figured this will have to do."  
  
"You're just an old romantic sap, aren't you?" Even as Chuck says it, his cheeks are flush and he's grinning brightly. "Fine, I'll wear 'em. But just for now..."  
  
"Thanks," Herc laughs before leaning down and kissing the boy quiet. They don't leave the room for the rest of the day, and the older man is oddly okay with that.  
  
~  
  
Chuck was grinning as he finished adjusting his Jaeger pilot suit, stretching his arms out to ensure the suit was as comfortable as possible. He glanced over towards Herc, crew members helping to finish the man's suit adjustments and wished that he could tug out the dog tags.   
  
After much begging (both in and out of the bedroom), Herc had finally agreed to be his partner. Finally having a drift partner, Chuck was promoted and both of them were assigned to the Mk. V Jaeger, Striker Eureka. It was a damn beautiful suit, if the blond was being truthful, sleek and fast and made to kick Kaiju ass.  
  
He was vibrating with energy now, not only to climb into the new Jaeger but also finally being able to drift with someone. The young man knew now that there would only ever be one person that he could share a cockpit with. Only one man that he'd ever fully be comfortable letting inside his head. They'd talked about many different aspects of their lives as their relationship progressed, but the drift was going to be something else entirely.  
  
Being perfectly honest with himself, Chuck was happy about it. He didn't want to keep secrets from Herc, and maybe that was stupid or naive but it was how he felt and he couldn't wait for the drift session.  
  
"Hey, kid," Herc barked out, and Chuck jerked his head up. "You just gonna to stand there all day or you gonna get in your Jaeger?"  
  
"Keep your pants on, old man, I'm coming!" He bit his tongue, forcing his grin down and follow after the older man as they finally entered into the Jaeger cockpit.   
  
It was truly a thing of beautiful. Most of the consoles lights were dimmed but still shining from their newness and Chuck had to stop himself from powering forward to inspect everything. Schooling his features, he allowed himself to be hooked back into the machine and he cut his eyes towards Herc, noticing the broad grin on the other man's face.   
  
They remained silent as the team prepared their suits for the machine interface and Chuck focused on what he imagined the drift would feel like. Would he see all of Herc? His thoughts or just the memories? Would they invoke any feelings and would he feel those too?  
  
"We're ready," a crew member announced and made a motion towards the viewing deck. The rest of the crew exited and then it was just him and Herc, about to make their first drift.  
  
"Ready, old man?" Chuck asked, mindful that they had an audience.  
  
"Concentrate Barton, you need to relax and maintain a focus on the present. You can't allow yourself-"  
  
"Yeah, I know. Don't chase the rabbit," he bit back a 'I didn't suddenly forget all your training' because even the blond knew he'd sound like a wanker if he uttered that.  
  
For a long moment there was nothing, just his own breathing inside the helmet and Chuck focused on that. Imagined hearing Herc's heartbeat alongside his own, like when they would lay in bed. When suddenly the computer announced "Neural Handshake, initiated." Exhaling, he merely closed his eyes to the onslaught of memories.  
  
It was a jumble at first, memories blending together. Then, _he could suddenly see the park that he'd play in after school, feel the sea breeze when he traveled to the beach for one summer_ , then it was somewhere he didn't recognize. Similar beach but it was different. A different hotel, different span of beach side and then he saw Herc. He was practically falling out of his car, woman wrapped up in his arms and Chuck frowned because he didn't want to see-  
  
 _The woman pulled back, laughing, bright smile and her hair was lighter, not so many wrinkles around her eyes but_ -  
  
 _It was his 10th birthday party and it was raining, he could smell the wetness in the air and the same woman was there putting his cake down in front of him, older, his moth_ -  
  
He gasped loudly, pulling another memory forward unbidden. _The image of her body sprawled out on the sidewalk, debris and smoke and Kaiju blood-!_  
  
" **Mom**!" He cried out, and Chuck could hear the older man's voice, calling him back and he gritted his teeth because he wouldn't screw this up, he wouldn't, not when he was so-   
  
Yanking his helmet off, the young man lurched forward, slamming his hand into the emergency shut down button and everything around them died, their harnesses detaching automatically. He stumbled forward, trying to make sense of his thoughts, trying to separate his memories from-from-  
  
"Chuck!" The older man grabbed a hold of him, suddenly too close and he pulled Chuck's shoulders forward to get his attention. "Hey! Hey, listen to me-!"  
  
"You-you knew my mother," he gasped, stared wide-eyed at the man in front of him. "When? When did you meet her? Please don't say 19 years ago... Please, _God_ , don't say that."  
  
From the look on the man's face, Chuck knew. He knew what this meant and he felt his stomach turn. The crew finally managed to pry the bay doors open, hurrying inside to get to both men and the younger man couldn't take it.  
  
Shoving away from Herc, he ignored the man's cries and pushed passed the other crew members hands. He couldn't be around him, not right now, not seeing everything he just had and realizing they shared the same grin.   
  
That he had his father's grin.  
  
~  
  
The higher ups chalked it up to inexperience of the drift, that Chuck had panicked at the rush of memories and that was why their first drift failed. As for the new partners, they hadn't had a conversation in the last 3 days. They also hadn't been alone for the last 3 days. Every person possible was always in the room, doing tests, or asking questions. And Chuck wouldn't go to his room at night, couldn't even go to the safety of the simulators without the risk of running into the older man.  
  
Every free moment that Chuck got, he'd spend it in some secluded spot high in the hanger, practically perched on a walkway high above Striker Eureka. The blond knew he was running scared, but every single time he thought about approaching the older man, Chuck's stomach would jump.  
  
He idly toyed with the dog tags around his neck, a habit that had formed the night Herc had given them to him.  
  
Running a finger along the name on the tags, Chuck couldn't help but wonder what the other man felt. If he was disgusted or would ask to step away from their partnership, from them... His stomach lurched again, feeling like it was about to leap into his throat and he groaned quietly.  
  
"Have you eaten lately?" A voice asked from the darkness and Chuck jumped, clutching the handrail in front of him.  
  
Herc stood a few feet away, hand stretched out like he wanted to touch him but pulled back. Chuck pursed his lips, staring back for a moment before he looked away towards the Mk. V Jaeger.  
  
"How'd you find me?"  
  
The older man shrugged, hip settling against the handrail on the opposite side and crossed his arms. "Some of the maintenance staff were talking about a ghost on the walkways and I figured that was a good place to hide."  
  
Chuck huffed, clutching the railing. "I'm not hiding."  
  
"Really?" The older man cocked his head, glaring at the blond. "Because every time I've gone to see you, you've been mysteriously missing. And you haven't had any extra simulator time or been going to meetings without me. So you'll forgive me if I think you're full of shit."  
  
"What the hell is your problem?" Chuck turned, glaring at the look he received. "Excuse the hell out of me when I find out I've been fucking my father and wanted some alone time!"  
  
"What, you think I didn't want to leave you alone? That I wouldn't rather be somewhere else?" Herc pushed off the rail, taking one step towards the younger man. "But we need to talk! I didn't know who you were and suddenly decide that it would be a fun idea to start fucking my son!"  
  
"So then you regret it?" He spat out and the blond figures that he's thrown Herc off-balance from the look on his face. Gritting his teeth, the younger man turned away as a blush rose up his neck. "You regret meeting me...?"  
  
The next moment is a filled silence, with so many different thoughts that Chuck's head swims. He has no idea what to do, but all he knows is that he doesn't want to stop, that he doesn't care if Herc is his father and that makes him feel sick. His stomach lurches again and he drops his head forward.  
  
"No, I don't." The older man finally says and steps the rest of the way to Chuck. "I don't regret meeting you and I-I don't regret what we did."  
  
The blond swallows, hand reaching up for the dog tags at his neck before looking back at Herc.  
  
"I don't either... does that mean something is wrong with me? With us?" He whimpers, feels the older man's arms wrap around him and he buries his face against Herc's shoulder. "I know I should, I know that it's wrong and we can't continue like before but- But I want to!"   
  
He feels Herc's arms tighten, feels a hand start sliding up and down his back in a soothing motion and the blond sighs. "I love you, I still love you and I don't want to stop loving you."  
  
A kiss is pressed to the crown of Chuck's head and all Herc does is murmur quietly;   
  
"I love you. I won't leave you, Chuck. I'm sorry..."  
  
The older man repeats the phrases like a mantra, again and again. Chuck nuzzles against the shoulder at his face and wraps his own arms around Herc, gripping the back of the man's coat. They stay like that for a time before the older man finally pulls back.  
  
"Hey," he mumbles, nosing lightly at Chuck's temple.  
  
"Hey," the blond mutters back, bringing his head up to look Herc in the eye.  
  
"I really do love you..." The older man says and presses a gentle kiss to Chuck's lips.  
  
Chuck surges forward in response, pouring all he has into to the kiss. The love and passion and joy that being with Herc brings him, hopes that the older man can understand him without having to say it all and breaks away from the kiss. "I love you too, old man."  
  
Herc smiles, warmly and happy, dropping his forehead against Chuck's and for the first time in 3 days, the blond finally feels like he can breath.


End file.
